New Bible translation

These days, it seems the youth in the UK and in America are increasingly sceptical about the Lord’s word. A new Bible translation promises to remedy this by speaking to the young people in a language they can understand. I must thank drdoug for bringing it to my attention. A few sample passages will illustrate its freshness and relevance:

Matthew 5: Ceiling Cat liek kittehz wiv no cash. Tehy can has Ceiling Catz pad.
Ceiling Cat liek sad kittehz. Tehy can has petting.
Ceiling Cat liek kittehz taht no pwn otehr kittehz. Tehy can has earth wen otehr kittehz is ded.
Ceiling Cat liek kittehz taht is liek “can i has good?”. Tehy can has cheezburger.
Ceiling Cat liek kittehz taht no pwn otehr kittehz even if tehy can. Ceiling Cat no pwn tehm.
Ceiling Cat liek kittehz taht has bath inside. Tehy can see Ceiling Cat.
Ceiling Cat liek cheezmakers. Ceiling Cat is liek “u mi kittenz”

John 1:5 – Teh lite iz pwns teh darks, but teh darks iz liek “Wtf.”

Ecclesiastes 3:3-6 – sup. there has is a sison 4 everthing, and a tiems 4every purpos under teh ceiling, lol. a tiemz 2 get kittehs, an a tiems 2 get ded. tiemz 2 mades cookies, an also tiems 2 cheezburgers. teimz 2 hugs, and loltims 4 buttsecks.

John 20:26-28 – Ltr, teh dscpls iz in teh hous wif Thomas. Teh doorz iz lockded, but Jesus waz liek “Oh hai!” And Jesus sayed “My wounz–let me show u them. Srsly, stfu.” And Thomas sayed “OMG, OMG!”

Revelation 22:6 – Then ayngel sayz “this all true. Srsly.”

This translation will turn the tide.

5 Comments on "New Bible translation"

  1. Linked by daegaer – it’s funny, I was sitting in mass today listening to Genesis 3:11 (yes, I had to look it up) and all I could see was a cat wearing a figleaf with a glowing hand admonishing it, “I forbade you a fruit but you eated it”.


    1. Not far off the current lolcat version of Gen 3 (I particularly like the illustration).

      13 An Ceiling Cat said unto teh woman, wat did u dun? An teh woman said, teh serpent playd dirty trick on me, An i eated it.


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