Because the stakes are so low

serenasnape linked to an audio file of fun new words to an old favourite hymn. You can hear it here.

The events the song is describing are yet another example of Christians doing the Dawkins’ work for him. Adrian Warnock’s blog contains a good summary, but remembering that UK evangelicalism is a fandom, let’s lay it down the Fandom Wank way (note to Britishers: “wank” is apparently a lot less rude in America, so I hope you will forgive my adoption of their style):

Over on trujesusfans, stevechalke99 posted an entry saying that substitutionary atonement was wrong. He added “OMG! Harry and Hermione, OTP! That bitch Rowling doesn’t know what she’s doing”.

The wank ERUPTED on in the comments, and other Jesus fans were soon linking to stevechalke99‘s posting. Cue DRAMA. stevechalke99 was promptly banninated by thesoundchurch23, who mods UCCF and ciccuspouseparty. MASS DEFRIENDINGS followed a split between members of the pro-chalke springharvest and anti-chalke wordalive (bahleeted, link to Google cache) comms.

Big Name Fan and springharvest mod pluspete was like OMG! CALM DOWN!11!ONE!ELEVEN, but to NO AVAIL, as Bible fans BASHED ONE ANOTHER all over the GODBLOGOSPHERE. cont’d on pages 1054, 1517, 1534, etc. etc. etc.


I hope I’ve conveyed the seriousness with which we must view these debates.

I ought to be careful here, I suppose. It’s not as if atheists never disagree, for example. But what they’re arguing about is, to those involved, a question of the spiritual “rules” of the universe (or rather, the universe + God combo). It’s not a matter of personal opinions or motivations, it’s about absolute truth. And that’s where it all falls down. Each side is vigorously asserting that their view is the truth, but oddly, they can’t seem to demonstrate that in a way which the other side (or someone who just doesn’t care, like me) can agree with, despite the fact that we have two groups who both claim to believe “what the Bible says”.

Their problem is that neither side’s claims have any grounding in reality. Rather, these mass debates are game which each believer plays in his own head (if you’ll pardon the pronoun, males seem far more enthusiastic about this activity than females), imagining the responses of fantasy figures which are most pleasing to him. I’m sure there’s a name for that; it’s just temporarily slipped my mind.

6 thoughts on “Because the stakes are so low”

  1. “… imagining the responses of fantasy figures which are most pleasing to him. I’m sure there’s a name for that; it’s just temporarily slipped my mind.”

    I think the name might be “Dungeons & Dragons”.

  2. note to Britishers: “wank” is apparently a lot less rude in America, so I hope you will forgive my adoption of their style

    Isn’t it that many Merkins don’t actually know what ‘wank’ means, and just think it’s a cute Britishism? I wouldn’t say it’s rude over here at all, just slang you wouldn’t say in front of your mum!

    1. I think it’s a lot less rude in America, though, precisely because your American mom wouldn’t know what it meant. Apparently it has another sense at Columba university, but the Fandom Wank people are obviously using UK sense, cos they’re talking about spooge as well.

      1. I also simply have Liberal Bubble Syndrome, and find it hard to imagine anyone being offended by swearwords. Worth being reminded of these things occasionally!

  3. ‘Word Alive and Spring Harvest to separate’

    I haven’t been so depressed since Take That split up.

    Dawkins would claim that theology is a non-subject, producing no knowledge.

    But how can that be, when clearly both sides of this mass debate have knowledge?

    In fact, theology seems to produce far more knowledge than science.

    Each denomination knows what the truth is. That’s about 23,000 lots of knowledge.

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